*Self-defence session in the forest, on our first Both Sides Foundation retreat.*

Last week we had the pleasure of hosting a retreat for eight young men, aged between 15 and 21 years old. This was the first retreat for the Both Sides Foundation, our charity project created to extend our retreats to young adult males, marking the all important (and all too often under recognised) transition between boy and man.

In our opinion one of the greatest challenges facing young men in modern society is the lack of positive male role models. No matter how present with his time and energy the father may be, male psychologists have shown time and time again just how important the role of male mentors - separate from the roles of both father and teacher - are in this developmental phase of a young man’s life.

No matter how positive and well-rounded a father they may have, young males thrive when they can spend time with a diversity of adult males who embody different archetypes of positive masculinity. They say it ‘takes a village’ to raise a child, but with modern family dynamics increasingly more secular, the opportunity to build relationships with other male mentors is growing more and more scarce.

And then of course, there are many young males growing up without the guidance of a father or father figure at all.

We created the Both Sides Foundation to address this growing need; giving young males the opportunity to explore multi-generational male spaces, standing shoulder to shoulder with both peers and elders, connecting with and relating to their own individual expression of masculinity.

So what exactly did we do?

We spent three days in the great outdoors; surfing, kayaking, chopping wood and building fires, training hard, laughing harder and learning from those we shared the space with.

And when the sun went down, we held the space for authentic conversation around positive expressions of masculinity in modern society; how we show up, how we relate to others, how we lead, how we honour our word.

We couldn’t have been more impressed by the group of young men that we shared the experience with. Teenagers get a bit of a bad reputation these days, but we were left in absolute awe by the attitude, courage and endeavour showed by these guys from start to finish. We treated them like men and they more than acted like them.

We’re sure there are countless more examples like them; young men that need spaces to be seen as men, to express themselves as men, to thoughtfully and intentionally connect with what being a man means to them.

And so the work continues. The Both Sides Foundation is just getting started.

This project was made possible thanks to the generous donations of our community and the support of the Wave Project Charity. For all those reading this that have helped in some way, we couldn’t be more grateful for your support.

In defence of young men.

What happens on a men’s retreat?